Courtesy of The Jamie Kern Lima Show Teddi Mellencamp opened up about living with cancer during an appearance onThe Jamie Kerm Lima Showon July 29 TheReal Housewives of Beverly Hillsalum shared that her father, John Mellencamp, has "stepped in" to help her with day-to-day struggles She shared that she has a "50-50" prognosis, but chooses to stay positive and believes she will survive Teddi Mellencampsaid that she's focusing on "belief," not fear, amid herstage 4 brain cancerstruggle — which she's been given a 50-50 chance of surviving. TheReal Housewives of Beverly Hillsalum, 44, described the emotional toll of living with cancer toJamie Kern Limaon theJuly 29 episodeof herpodcast,The Jamie Kern Lima Show. "There's a sense of sadness that comes along with not feeling your best," Mellencamp said. "The dips, the highs and lows, the unknown." The reality star — who has been documenting her ongoingmelanomadiagnosis after undergoing 17 surgeries for theinvasive skin cancer— confirmed in April that her disease progressed to stage 4, having metastasized to herbrain and lungs. She needed immunotherapy, radiation and surgery totreat the tumors. "I would be lying if I said I also didn't have a little bit of anger. Why did this happen to me?" she admitted to Lima. "In my mind, I was so healthy. I was taking care of myself. I play sports." Courtesy of The Jamie Kern Lima Show Now, Mellencamp said she has been sidelined from many of her favorite physical activities, as the side effects of treatment have been rough. She explained how much her father,John Mellencamp, has helped her with things she "wouldn't be capable of doing." "He has been beyond," she said. "With all of these medical treatments and everything. He has stepped in, he's helped me have a nurse … he calls me every single day. He makes sure that I'm okay." She said that at first, the gravity of her illness hadn't sunk in: "We thought, 'Oh, she'll just have the surgery and she'll come out and she'll be able to manage things' … and I most certainly can't." She said she couldn't imagine what her new life would look like. "I was so scared to go home and not be the me that I was when I left home. It was frightening. And so that's when [my dad] was like, 'Let's get you a nurse. Let's get you set up.' " When she got home, she was "so weak, I couldn't give myself a bath. I couldn't take a shower. I had ginormous holes in my head." Her dad's support was cruicial in those early days. He also taught her, "it's okay to have an emotional day." She reiterated the importance of that lesson to Lima. Their interview was five days after Mellencamp's latestimmunotherapytreatment. "I have it once every three weeks and it's my most emotional day." She told Lima she she nearly canceled the appearance because "I know I'm gonna get upset." But ultimately, Mellencamp decided to go through with it, saying, "people need to know it's okay to be upset." This prompted Lima to ask "How much of your energy goes to fear and how much of it goes to full belief?" "I would say a lot of my energy, it goes to belief," Mellencamp said, explaining that she does feel anger over no longer "hopping right up" in the morning to get her kids,Slate, 12, Cruz, 10, and Dove, 5, whom she shares withEdwin Arroyave, off to school and to work out, as she did for years. "I have no routine anymore," Mellencamp said, sharing that it was "a big wake-up call that life isn't perfect. You don't have to be perfect, you just have to show up … most days I end up feeling great, but if I just stay there in that moment, it'll be a terrible day. But I can control that. I may still feel sick or I may have a stomach ache or be bummed that I have to miss something that one of my kids is doing." https://people-app.onelink.me/HNIa/kz7l4cuf But, she says, "I'm in control of something. Maybe not healing, but how I show up for myself." Mellencamp said her positive attitude is what keeps her going. "I have to keep fighting. I can do this. And it's okay to feel sad. A lot of people feel sad, and it doesn't have to mean that you're gonna die. " "What is the prognosis right now that doctors say?" Lima asked. "I would say probably 50-50," Mellencamp said. "But like, I truly believe this when I say this — and it's gonna make me emotional — I truly believe that I'm gonna live. I need to believe it. 'Cause if not, it's just too sad." Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE's free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. Read the original article onPeople
