US Politics | I’m a family therapist – my top Thanksgiving tips for dealing with argumentative family members and drunk in-laws
A PSYCHIATRIST has shared his top tips for dealing with family members this Thanksgiving \- including the one ingredient you shouldn't go without. From argumentative relatives to drunk in-laws, the holidays may bring out the worst in some people, but luckily, there are steps you can take to minimize the damage at this year's dinner. 
Holiday dinners can bring out the worst in family membersGetty Images - Getty 
Dr Drew Ramsey shared his top tips for dealing with family this holiday seasonCourtesy of Dr. Ramsey Drew Ramsey, M.D., a psychiatrist, author, farmer, and professor of psychiatry at Columbia University who runs an active telemedicine clinical practice, spoke exclusively to The U.S. Sun ahead of the Thanksgiving holiday. Set an intention "A lot of times when we're dealing with family, we can feel regressed and out of control,... Ramsey said via phone. "For some families, there's a lot of big feelings: disappointment, feelings of resentment." That's why he suggested setting an intention before this year's Thanksgiving get-together. READ MORE ON MENTAL HEALTH 
SAD TIMES Seasonal Affective Disorder is more serious than just having the winter blues 
HEALTH CHECK I'm a therapist - here's the signs you're suffering anxiety & how to tackle it "When people have a history of challenging holiday gatherings or family events, or if there's been recent discord… It's very important for people to be intentional,... Ramsey said. "If you're not clear about your intentions… it's potentially a missed opportunity." Lower expectations Ramsey also suggested lowering expectations ahead of holiday gatherings. "We often go into the holidays with big expectations, whether we're kids hoping for that big gift, or we're adults and we're hoping for that really meaningful connection, or simply for our meal to go off without a hitch,... he said. Most read in The US Sun KEEPING TABS Chilling reason Delphi suspect Richard Allen may have chosen to work in a CVS 'HOPE SHE'S OKAY!' Mariah fans fear for the singer after her performance at the parade COVID CRISIS China faces 'critical' Covid crisis as 400MILLION people plunged into lockdown GIVING THANKS Al Roker reveals major health update in heartwarming Thanksgiving vid CUFFING SEASON I'm a hot cop - men confess their crimes when they see me in a bikini TASTE OF HER MEDICINE The View's Whoopi gets shut down by A-list guest in shock exchange "Keeping things simple, straightforward, and keeping expectations reasonable is a really important aspect of the holiday season that people miss." Ramsey said the holidays are a season to acknowledge our challenges, but also our humility. Catch fires early If you're in a leadership position within your family, Ramsey said having that awareness is crucial. "Catch fires early. When you see smoke, put out a fire,... he said of family leaders' responsibility during conflict or even instances of bullying. "For example, if there's an issue of discord in the family and it begins to come out, I think it's very important for people to take a leadership position and to protect the family dynamic from discord." In this position, when conflict arises, he suggests saying: "This is a big disagreement, and we have a lot of time to talk about that later.... This is one way to de-escalate disagreements. "De-escalation is spotting things early and doing work ahead of time,... Ramsey said. ...If you're getting people together and there have been challenges in the past and you're in a leadership position in the family or you're in a position to say something constructive," you might consider asking questions, he continued. Be sure to also take family dynamics into consideration when crafting your questions. Ramsey offered up an example of questions you could consider asking. "Are you and your brother still having problems communicating and getting along? Is there a way the family can be helpful this season?," he suggested. Eat the low-hanging fruit In preparing for family gatherings, Ramsey also recommended taking the needs of others into consideration. "If you have family members that have food sensitivities and they often don't feel seen or heard, that's simple,... he said. ...Do a little planning. Make sure people's easy needs are met." The same can be said about those who may be abstaining from alcohol or other substances this holiday season. "If you have sober people in your family … one way to deescalate the holidays is to stop getting drunk,... he said. "Alcohol is bad for family gatherings. It makes people more prone to overshare, less able to maintain appropriate boundaries." By limiting alcohol intake, you may be sparing yourself from some uncomfortable table talk. Don't overschedule It sounds simple, but another way to deal with family members is to not overschedule your time or theirs. For those visiting from out of town, there may be a sense of urgency to cram many activities into a day. But overscheduling isn't necessary and can lead to conflict. "We want to pack in every minute, and some families are great at that,... Ramsey said. ...But other families need a reminder that downtime \- time to veg out, take a walk \- is very important.... That downtime can have a positive impact on everyone's mood, too. In that regard, to gain the most out of your time together, Ramsey also suggests dividing and conquering. "There's very, very little that's truly intimate happens around a big table,... he said. ...Real intimacy with your family happens one-on-one. Or a group of three if you sneak off." Don't forget this one ingredient Ramsey shared a few extra ingredients that should be added to everyone's Thanksgiving dinner this year, including positive ideas, questions, and vibrations. "I'm a believer that you reap what you sow,... he said. ...Kindness is a spice that goes with every dish. The most important side for everyone to remember at the Thanksgiving table is to dish out an extra heaping of kindness. Read More on The US Sun 
KEEPING TABS Chilling reason Delphi suspect Richard Allen may have chosen to work in a CVS 
SIDE DISH I tried five dinner roll brands from Aldi to Walmart – two were inedible "Especially right now, it's very important for people to take this holiday season especially seriously because we're having such a hard time, both individual families connecting, but also families within communities connecting, with so many forces dividing us." "It's a very important holiday season this year for families to reconnect and understand what role they can play within their communities to help us all heal."
Holiday dinners can bring out the worst in family membersGetty Images - Getty Dr Drew Ramsey shared his top tips for dealing with family this holiday seasonCourtesy of Dr. Ramsey Drew Ramsey, M.D., a psychiatrist, author, farmer, and professor of psychiatry at Columbia University who runs an active telemedicine clinical practice, spoke exclusively to The U.S. Sun ahead of the Thanksgiving holiday. Set an intention "A lot of times when we're dealing with family, we can feel regressed and out of control,... Ramsey said via phone. "For some families, there's a lot of big feelings: disappointment, feelings of resentment." That's why he suggested setting an intention before this year's Thanksgiving get-together. READ MORE ON MENTAL HEALTH SAD TIMES Seasonal Affective Disorder is more serious than just having the winter blues HEALTH CHECK I'm a therapist - here's the signs you're suffering anxiety & how to tackle it "When people have a history of challenging holiday gatherings or family events, or if there's been recent discord… It's very important for people to be intentional,... Ramsey said. "If you're not clear about your intentions… it's potentially a missed opportunity." Lower expectations Ramsey also suggested lowering expectations ahead of holiday gatherings. "We often go into the holidays with big expectations, whether we're kids hoping for that big gift, or we're adults and we're hoping for that really meaningful connection, or simply for our meal to go off without a hitch,... he said. Most read in The US Sun KEEPING TABS Chilling reason Delphi suspect Richard Allen may have chosen to work in a CVS 'HOPE SHE'S OKAY!' Mariah fans fear for the singer after her performance at the parade COVID CRISIS China faces 'critical' Covid crisis as 400MILLION people plunged into lockdown GIVING THANKS Al Roker reveals major health update in heartwarming Thanksgiving vid CUFFING SEASON I'm a hot cop - men confess their crimes when they see me in a bikini TASTE OF HER MEDICINE The View's Whoopi gets shut down by A-list guest in shock exchange "Keeping things simple, straightforward, and keeping expectations reasonable is a really important aspect of the holiday season that people miss." Ramsey said the holidays are a season to acknowledge our challenges, but also our humility. Catch fires early If you're in a leadership position within your family, Ramsey said having that awareness is crucial. "Catch fires early. When you see smoke, put out a fire,... he said of family leaders' responsibility during conflict or even instances of bullying. "For example, if there's an issue of discord in the family and it begins to come out, I think it's very important for people to take a leadership position and to protect the family dynamic from discord." In this position, when conflict arises, he suggests saying: "This is a big disagreement, and we have a lot of time to talk about that later.... This is one way to de-escalate disagreements. "De-escalation is spotting things early and doing work ahead of time,... Ramsey said. ...If you're getting people together and there have been challenges in the past and you're in a leadership position in the family or you're in a position to say something constructive," you might consider asking questions, he continued. Be sure to also take family dynamics into consideration when crafting your questions. Ramsey offered up an example of questions you could consider asking. "Are you and your brother still having problems communicating and getting along? Is there a way the family can be helpful this season?," he suggested. Eat the low-hanging fruit In preparing for family gatherings, Ramsey also recommended taking the needs of others into consideration. "If you have family members that have food sensitivities and they often don't feel seen or heard, that's simple,... he said. ...Do a little planning. Make sure people's easy needs are met." The same can be said about those who may be abstaining from alcohol or other substances this holiday season. "If you have sober people in your family … one way to deescalate the holidays is to stop getting drunk,... he said. "Alcohol is bad for family gatherings. It makes people more prone to overshare, less able to maintain appropriate boundaries." By limiting alcohol intake, you may be sparing yourself from some uncomfortable table talk. Don't overschedule It sounds simple, but another way to deal with family members is to not overschedule your time or theirs. For those visiting from out of town, there may be a sense of urgency to cram many activities into a day. But overscheduling isn't necessary and can lead to conflict. "We want to pack in every minute, and some families are great at that,... Ramsey said. ...But other families need a reminder that downtime \- time to veg out, take a walk \- is very important.... That downtime can have a positive impact on everyone's mood, too. In that regard, to gain the most out of your time together, Ramsey also suggests dividing and conquering. "There's very, very little that's truly intimate happens around a big table,... he said. ...Real intimacy with your family happens one-on-one. Or a group of three if you sneak off." Don't forget this one ingredient Ramsey shared a few extra ingredients that should be added to everyone's Thanksgiving dinner this year, including positive ideas, questions, and vibrations. "I'm a believer that you reap what you sow,... he said. ...Kindness is a spice that goes with every dish. The most important side for everyone to remember at the Thanksgiving table is to dish out an extra heaping of kindness. Read More on The US Sun KEEPING TABS Chilling reason Delphi suspect Richard Allen may have chosen to work in a CVS SIDE DISH I tried five dinner roll brands from Aldi to Walmart – two were inedible "Especially right now, it's very important for people to take this holiday season especially seriously because we're having such a hard time, both individual families connecting, but also families within communities connecting, with so many forces dividing us." "It's a very important holiday season this year for families to reconnect and understand what role they can play within their communities to help us all heal."
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